Do you ever workout and feel like Captain James T Kirk is screaming at you "faster! faster!" and you are Scotty, responding "I'm givin' it all she's got capn!"
|I'm giving it all she's got capn|
But was he talking about the bulge, that's what I want to know
That's how I have been the last two months, waging my annual winter-beset battle of the buldge and almost buldge, as I vascillate between getting in shape and just getting in my clothes. There is a difference you see. One is shoved in those jeans like a sausage casing, while the other glides into clothes like the airy, thin, pre-pregnant Uma Thurman in her banana-yellow Ducati racing outfit.
Four days ago, I had my own, personal, come to the alter of health when I was lounging on the bed, the kids were asleep and Rog was at vampire hockey (so named because the games in his league usually start about the time vampires wake up, around 11 pm at night). What comes on, but another P90X commercial. I reach for the remote, prepared to change the channel, when I get caught up in the personal story (damn those directors. They sucked me in!) The before pics showed a man tipping the scales at 400 pounds. One child, a wife and misery, all rolled in to one. He started P90X and lost @60 pounds the first go-around. 2 more times and another 150 pounds gone. The after picture was a lean, handsome guy, who was completely unrecognizable from the first picture.
|Not the 400 lb guy, but close enough|
"If he can do it, I can do it!" My new
I felt like such a loser. I only have about 15 pounds to lose, converting lazy, ugly bumpage (that would be my happitime word for cellulite, which I hate), to smooth, lithe skin. Why, I often as She, who is my motivational other-self, is it so hard to lose so little?! "I have no idea," she responds, confessing she has the same problem. My loser-self came to the surface because last year, Rog and I purchased P90X, and I blogged about it, but we both bagged it after about a week. We had lots of excuses, but the bottom line, it was bloody hard, and it wasn't a priority.
By golly, I told myself (well, I didn't use those exact words, but I'm trying to clean up my mouth), if he can do this, I can do this. Four days ago, I got off my duff at 9 pm, and did the Core Synergistics workout. It's all about abs and lunges. I'm not kidding you when I say that I actually saw my oblique muscles on my stomach the next day. Day 2, I did arms. Day 3 (yesterday), Rog joined me. That's what peer pressure does. He came in half-way through the Chest and Triceps workout. What that really means is hundreds of pain-inducing push ups. My weak spot and his strong suit. I was absolutely shocked to see him collapse midway. Today, he told me that in the middle of the night, his arms had started shaking due to the workout.
All of that was a warm up for the hour of pain I endured this morning. I did the PolyX (I think that's the name). I didn't know it at the time, but it's all about lunges and squats. Because I'm anal, and get bored easily, I started counting just how many squats/lungs and jumps we were doing. In the first twenty minutes, I counted 600 (and this doesn't include the rapid-sequences used by the advanced folks in the DVD). With 32 minutes to go, I started counting over, just because I thought I was losing my mind (as the muscles in my legs threatened to melt off). 10 minutes later, I stopped counting at 400. at 50 minutes, I was on the verge of tears (but this was after I caught my breath. I have to breath to cry).
At the end, my legs were so large with blood, I mistook them for tree trunks. I pushed my sausage in to my pants, otherwise known as casings. Three hours later, the blood has gone down and my pants are seriously loose. It's the miracle of working out hard.
I'll admit that I'm not completely following the food diet though. One step at a time. Tomorrow, (assuming I can even take a step), and I don't want to exercise any more than jump off a building without a bungee chord, I'll tell myself "if that 400 pound man can do it, I can do it," and I'll start the pain all over again.
PS. Day 4, I've lost 1.25 pounds & the pants aren't so tight on my waist and butt